Soilman's Allotment Blog

Light bulbs

Celeriac update: So far, so good. Although by early August the bulbs should be a bit bigger than this.

Two reasons:

• No sunshine
• Not enough humus at the roots

Celeriac is a marshland plant and likes rich, water-retentive soil. I didn't dig in any compost before planting these. Despite the rain, I'll pay the price in smaller bulbs come October.

One pleasant side-effect of the lousy weather is that I didn't get any damage from the celery leaf-miner this year. It normally appears in May. Pick off the affected leaves and the plant usually recovers from an attack fairly quickly.

Soilman, Web Dictator

I have no good reason for posting this picture. I could try the flimsy excuse that it relates to garden pests. But that's shite.

Truth is, I just like it. And I couldn't invent a decent reason to use it. So there.

I love the absolute power I have on this blog. It's corrupting the hell out of me, and I don't care. Shame I've got bugger-all influence over Nature. I might be eating more veg by now.

Slugs 12, Soilman 1

Here's a French bean. And a cat. Love the thing he's doing with his ears. Who says an allotment blog must be logical, topical or even tasteful, goddamit?

My 'greenhouse'

I'm growing a dwarf bean called Purple Teepee this year. Not tried it before, but the purple ones usually taste best. They're jostling for space in my 'greenhouse' with everything else that's waiting to be planted out on the plot.

It's a crime scene today; all my lettuce seedlings were scoffed overnight by a small grey slug. Every single one. I located the malfeasant under the seed tray and squidged it to death. Slowly, for maximum suffering.

So call the RSPCA. Do I look bothered?

All that glisters...

... is not bloody welcome. Handsome fellow, isn't he? Shame he's a ruthless killer. This, ladies and gentleman, is the Red Lily Beetle. A pest that, left unchecked, will strip a lily in days.

There's a plague of them this year. I'm relieved I didn't enact my labour-saving plan to pay visiting youngsters £1 for every beetle they caught. I'd be bankrupt.