I'm SO bloody late this year!
These courgettes should be bursting at the seams, desperate to get out on the allotment. But they've barely germinated.
I have tons of peas to get out, and okra, and sweetcorn, and... and... and...
It's pathetic. What have I been doing with my time?
Something happened this year that's never happened before. I sowed two sweetcorn seeds in 15 pots and all 30 seeds germinated. Looks like all of the next batch are also going to work.
It quite knocked me back; I'm used to an average 20% non-germination rate. The variety is Kelvedon Glory. Don't know if it's coincidence, or perhaps this variety is just very reliable. Anyone got any experience of KG, good or bad?
Whatever. I know which sweetcorn variety gets my vote from now on.
OK, so I altered this artichoke pic a little. Humour me. What's a few manipulated pixels between friends?
They said jerusalem artichokes were easy. They said artichokes would grow anywhere. Well, it's bollocks. Half of mine haven't emerged. The ones that have are slow, lumpen and... charmless. They put me in mind of Ed Balls.
Anyone else have difficulties with artichokes? Or are you going to torment me with how absurdly easy you find them?
Thought I'd give you a brief glimpse of the sordid Soilman reality, rather than the carefully posed pictures.
My parsnips took seven weeks to emerge – a new record. Here they are, thinned and ready... but smothered in weeds. A day or two more in this weather and they'll be swamped. Just haven't had time to sort them out.
Suppose I should be grateful they germinated at all. Instead, I'm kicking myself for being a neglectful allotmenteer.
Another outrageous success on the plot this weekend. Two hours of work in gorgeous sunshine. Felt like a foreign country.
I have seeds sprouting everywhere with reckless haste, desperate to make up for lost time. Grim and gloomy April is all but forgotten.
The only disappointment is my overwintering cauliflowers. They look terrific – the pigeons were successfully repelled – but no sign of any heads. Which is bloody peculiar, given that it's now May.
Have I lost the Midas touch with my brassicas!?
Had our third meal of asparagus tonight. Eaten within minutes of cutting, it needs only 3-4 mins of steaming and is sweet, crunchy and delicious. A total delight.
For the next few weeks, I'll eat it plain – not even any butter. By mid May, it will need some kind of accompaniment... so we'll break out the hollandaise sauce. Once that novelty's worn off, we're in trouble.
Sick of asparagus: classy sort of problem, huh?
Hurrah! Celeriac plants are out on the plot. Left them under a fleece tunnel for a week to get fully acclimatised to allotment conditions.
Talking of which, it's not just the plants that need hardening off. After my massive dig-and-weed-a-thon on Saturday, I have a seriously stiff arse. Sitting down is posing problems.
Wasn't aware gardening exercised the gluteus muscles so effectively. It's yet another benefit of the madcap funster allotment lifestyle.
Soilman: Buns of steel.
I've never been so pleased to see a potato. Thought they'd never make it.
How good was yesterday? The sun shone like it meant business, and I got a little burned. Did two hours of sowing, weeding and diverse agriculture.
I even acquired a blister. It's been about 18 months since it was possible to work outside long enough to get one of them.
But don't pack away the hot water bottle. It's back to pissing rain and March temperatures next week.
